Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Backpack Girl or What's Inside

Acceptance is one of the most interesting terms that we use in everyday life.  It describes the state of being acceptable and approval through action and belief.

The contents of my purse, earlier this summer
For a while, I tried to travel light. I moved through situation with "supplies" . I regretted the large Mary Poppins' bag I seemed to have with me. Even if I over packed, I sometimes felt as if I packed the "wrong things", dressed in clothing that was not right for the weather, had too much to carry for a day that needed less.
I thought I had strapped myself to a setback. Unable to move as freely with what I could bring.
I am not that girl who can leave the house with just a cellphone and a lipstick.
 Left standing with my umbrella, in the rays of sunshine before me, I traveled place to place balanced between my shoulders and wondered why I did not behave like those other smart women who could carry but a small purse. You know the kind, girls who can walk out of the house with a stylish clutch.  I tried I carried a small bag downtown in the club scene early on at college, but needed a small sweater that came along. I went to Italy and needed a a plastic bag for the souvenirs that did not fit in my bag.I felt like the bag lady. But when I tried to travel without it, I felt worse because I did not feel like myself.
My pink backpack has been good to me.

But I need these things. These are my things. They define how I live and if I try to live without them, I don't know how. Occasions that call for a small entertainment piece for long lines when I feel like a small child and when I see long lines of small children.
Above I see my makeup case, keys and purel key ring, swiss army now ( now removed after being confiscated at a concert), Girl Scout day planner, pack of gum, Strand extra plastic bag, cellphone, small Moleskin writer's notebook, hand cream, a homemade stress ball, a Vera Bradley wallet, post-its extra paper, Cocoa Butter.

This may seem like an exaggeration of what I need but sometimes most needs are. These things have collected, been forgotten, transplanted from bag to bag and day to day.

I don't mind that sometimes I am with my backpack because I am that girl.
Yet, don't be confused I am not saying pack your house or leave nothing behind. My worry is notabout   fitting in it all, it's about keeping the contents  intact.
I just saying that if you say you believe in  yourself, that you approve of your actions, than you accept yourself too.
Because someday you will wish you had an umbrella
and you will find that sometimes you will get caught in the rain.

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